Are you single and lonely? Are you just tired of seeing all the cards, balloons and roses on every corner? Here it is, another Valentines…yes the dreaded February 14th. As a now single woman and speaking for most, we are tired of all the romantic plans you hear about from all those couples who so pretend that they are hopelessly in love. It’s a day when partners go all out to show the world that he or she loves him or her. They send the long stemmed roses or floral bouquets to their job so that they can be the envy of everyone else. Dinner plans are made at a fairly nice restaurant. After all, they have to have a good coffee break story for the next work day to impress all the single co-workers.
To be totally engrossed in the Valentines phenomenon, they get dressed up in some rendition of red clothing or accessories. Often times he/she will surprise the other with some chocolate or jewelry. The mood is set and romance is in full bloom. The showering of love, gifts, flowers, dinner and all the special attention has definitely set the mood so naturally the ultimate reward is naturally anticipated and undoubtedly expected. Yes, I’m talking about a passionate night of lovemaking with all the trimmings; the wine, candles, rose petals, strawberries with whipped cream and yes, all the Keith Sweat, Luther, R-Kelly and some Barry White for the perfect ambiance. A night to remember!
They wake up the next morning and if they are lucky, there might be a quickie and maybe breakfast. Well let’s just say…. the romance is over because Valentines is just one day. It’s one of the most celebrated, yet pretentious days of the year. It’s a day when we single ladies feel like crap! Left out and insignificant! But Ladies, don’t believe the hype and don’t get me wrong, there are a few couples that are truly in love and mean it. There are others that do the Valentines’ rituals just because it’s the thing to do.
I actually tested this theory at a dollar store, where I saw several men buying balloons and cards and I said to one, “she is a lucky lady, that’s a lot of balloons.” He responded, “I guess it’s just what I have to do but it’s getting old.” That was the general consensus among the men I talked to. Wow! I thought to myself, where is the love? They were participating from a sense of obligation and not because the heightened feelings of love that is pouring from their hearts.
To all my single ladies, let’s do something different this Valentines. Let’s gather some of our single friends and have a potluck brunch or dinner. Get some movies of various genres, but don’t forget the chick flicks and just have a singles gathering. Also, get wine or coolers and popcorn. Board games are good as well to play in between the movies. It doesn’t matter as long as everyone is involved. My point is to do something together and when we spend all that quality time together, we won’t feel alone and guess what? The day after will be just the day after…no pretending, no false sense of romance that usually is magnified on Valentine’s Day. After all, the conversations with your single friends will be much more favorable and interesting during coffee break at work or at the water cooler.
Now don’t misunderstand or misinterpret what I’m saying and don’t think that I am a hater. Have the conversation beforehand about what the different holidays mean to you and how you want to celebrate it and that it’s being done for all the right reasons. I believe that every day I should feel the love. It can simply be running me a bath or sending me a special text or email. It can even be a note of love on a post it. Then on Valentines’, we can go a little further with a homemade candlelight pajama dinner on the floor by the fireplace. Please communicate to your partner that they don’t have to send you flower only on Valentines. A little romance goes a long way.
Single people, we can appreciate that there are a lot more of us than them. Enjoy each other so we can get through Valentines until we find that special someone.
Until next time….I am yours truly…..Sharon Clark