HMMM: What exactly is a good man???

HMMM: What exactly is a good man???


What makes a man a “good” man? I have been asking myself that question for a while now. Is a man considered good because of his morals? Is he a good man because he doesn’t cheat? Is he good because he meets all your standards? What is it exactly?

Recently Ciara and Russell Wilson got engaged. The whole world cheered except for Future’s fans and dudes who could be considered “ain’t shit.” They’re all mad because Ciara went and found a “good” man. Russell is an all-around good guy. He believes in God, he choose to step up and a be a father figure to Ciara’s son, he choose to be celibate with Ciara before marriage and he treats Ciara like a queen.  Plus, he got a good, legit job (Superbowl Champion Quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks).

This is a RARE case. Ciara is like a love story out of a Tyler Perry movie. For us normal girls, things are a tad bit different. Handsome, athletic, millionaires don’t just grow on trees. Good men are kind of hard to find, but what really classifies a man as “good?”

A photo posted by Ciara (@ciara) on

​​At one time, Ciara thought Future was a “good” man right? I think a “good” man is something that is subjective. I used to feel like a “good” man was somebody who had strong Christian values, educated, didn’t party, etc.

One thing I have noticed since Ciara and Russell’s engagement is the amount of hate they are receiving from men. There was a picture with three men Ciara dated before settling down with Russell. Men commented on the pic calling her a hoe. That really bothered me. I don’t understand why folks are so mad at her for moving on and finding better. Isn’t life about making mistakes and learning who you are and what it is that you want and what makes you happy? Maybe not…

As I have gotten older, I’ve learned that a good man is a man that makes you feel good and comfortable. You know it’s not about being with someone that believes what you believe, but more about someone who makes you completely happy and can make you better.

I’ve met a few guys that on paper look like good guys. Strong morals. Don’t drink. Don’t party. Don’t be out there doing the most. So to most people, they look to be the type of guys that ANY woman would be lucky to be with. But they weren’t right for me. No matter how “good” they were, they weren’t good for me.

Looking at Ciara and Russell gives me this weird hope. It makes you believe in love even after heartbreak. Russell was married previously and of course Ciara was engaged to Future’s trifling self, but they both found love despite their previous situations. Russell may not have been Ciara’s cup of tea a few years ago, but after learning from her mistakes with Future, it seems like she learned what she didn’t want.

The “good” man usually seems like this illusive mythical creature that every woman tries to find, but that is because we have these impossible, unrealistic ideals of what a “good” man is. A good man isn’t perfect, but he should be perfect for you.

::In my Food Lion lion voice:: That’s just my two cents.